


unspoken words

by ryujinies



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, alludes to verbal abuse, not really if you read the twitter au but, set on a beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25326793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryujinies/pseuds/ryujinies
Summary: Yeji ponders on all the times they’ve come to this beach in search of something more. How many days and nights they spent cuddled up here, seeking comfort in the sea and in each other. She wonders if all their efforts prove fruitless because really how healing can the sea be when you still have to go home to what Ryujin does.
Relationships: Hwang Yeji/Shin Ryujin
Kudos: 34





	unspoken words

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is a narration from my twitter au (https://twitter.com/ryejiau/status/1221001782438113282?s=20) but i thought it could work by itself as well. i hope u like it and if u want to see how their story ends pls go read the au!

The sun is low in the sky now, the day fading into a colder afternoon. Yeji wraps her arms around her body as she treks down the beach, searching for their spot. 

She’s curled up into a ball when Yeji first spots her. She has her legs pulled into her chest and her head on her knees as she sits on the coarse sand.

And Yeji notices that her body looks heavy, in the way a body only is after being beaten down by the world at every turn; after all the stops have been pulled out and there is simply nothing else left to give. It is heavy with fatigue. Heavy with resignation. Heavy with defeat. 

When she gets close enough for Ryujin to notice her presence, the other girl startles as she looks up at her. It’s clear that she’s been crying from the puffiness of her eyes and the dried tears on her tan cheeks. Her nose is a light pink color too and Yeji is unsure if it’s from the cold or not, but it makes her heart hurt either way. 

She finds herself wanting to sweep Ryujin up in her arms and hold her forever. She’d tell her that they could run away from there and never look back. And she’d kiss her softly and whisper that everything would be okay as long as they were together.

But as she stares down at Ryujin, she realizes that she can’t do any of those things. It would be wrong to promise things she has no way of keeping. 

Instead, she plops down next to the black-haired girl, hands her the hoodie she packed for her, and waits until she’s ready to speak. 

They sit there for a long time in silence, listening to the birds in the distance and watching the waves crash into the shore in front of them. Yeji ponders on all the times they’ve come to this beach in search of something more. How many days and nights they spent cuddled up here, seeking comfort in the sea and in each other. She wonders if all their efforts prove fruitless because really how healing can the sea be when you still have to go home to what Ryujin does. 

When Ryujin finally speaks, her voice sounds small and hoarse. “How’d you find me?” 

Yeji hums, taking a moment before answering. “You told me that whenever things would get tough at home, you’d come here. ‘Said it feels good here. I figured it was worth a try.” 

Ryujin doesn’t say anything in response, she just gazes out at the ocean like that is answer enough. And maybe it is. 

“I texted you,” Yeji whispers. “I know.”

“We were all really worried.”

“I know,” She repeats.

“And what he said isn’t true, Ryujin.” 

The shorter girl stills, another ‘I know’ on the tip of her tongue before she seems to think better of it. Yeji feels her own heart break in two at her hesitation. 

Ryujin balls her fists up where they wrap around her legs and squeezes her eyes shut. Yeji has seen this enough times to know that she’s going to that place in her head where all she does is overthink. 

She is watching her curl into herself in slow motion and it feels rotten not knowing what’s going on in her head or what to do. She can tell that Ryujin is tired; it’s written all over her but Yeji keeps coming up empty when it comes to things to say that will make this better. It only hits her then that she can’t make this better. She can only be there. 

Without much thought, Yeji reaches out for Ryujin, resting her hand on the girl’s balled-up fist. “Angel?” 

Yeji sees Ryujin visibly relax under her touch, desperate eyes finding the other’s as she lets out a shaky exhale. There are tears pooling in her eyes, but she blinks them back before they can spill over. Yeji thinks about telling her that it’s okay to cry, but it crosses her mind that maybe Ryujin is tired of crying, so she decides against it. 

Ryujin turns her gaze back to the ocean but turns her hand up and laces their fingers together. Yeji gives an encouraging squeeze and watches her as she speaks with trembling lips. 

“I know. I do,” Ryujin starts, letting out a long sigh, “It’s just…hard to remember sometimes after _that_. I’m barely keeping it together, Yeji. I am seriously hanging on by a thread. I know I’m not what he thinks I am, but to be woken up out of my sleep and told otherwise… It’s just hard.” 

Yeji listens intently, waiting patiently for her to go on. She tries not to let it show how her heart aches for the girl in front of her. She deserves so much more, it is almost infuriating how much more. 

“He was drunk, I think. It doesn’t usually get that bad unless he is… Though, he’s drunk more often than he isn’t so maybe I just don’t know what _that bad_ is anymore,” She trails off, finding Yeji’s eyes again. She crawls into the girl’s lap easily and Yeji wraps her arms around the smaller girl, desperately wanting to hold her closer. 

Ryujin hugs her back and relishes the soft kisses Yeji presses in the crook of her neck before pulling back in favor of cupping the taller girl’s face.

“I’m really sorry you had to hear that. I’m so fucking embarrassed. I meant what I said that night in your room. I’m messy and I push people away and I get in my head too much. I’m difficult in every sense of the word and I get that you like me. Baby, I like you so much, but do you think it’s worth all the work?”

Yeji opens her mouth to tell her that she’s not work and that she’s not difficult. She wants to tell her that liking her is the easiest thing she’s ever done and that she knows she can’t help much, but she would still gladly hold her hand through it all.

But before she can say any of that, Ryujin shakes her head and smiles gently at the other girl. It’s a sad smile and it rocks Yeji to her core. “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer now. Just think about it, okay?” 

Yeji is left with her mouth agape, unsure of what to do. She can’t just say nothing can she? But she looks back at Ryujin’s pleading eyes and realizes that she doesn’t want an answer. An answer isn’t what she needs right now. So she just nods. 

And with that, Ryujin kisses her. 

It catches Yeji off-guard, but it doesn’t take long for her to lean into her kiss, her lips moving in time with Ryujin’s. She feels this certain ache in the pit of her stomach, one unlike anything she’s ever felt before and it pushes her to hold onto Ryujin tighter. _She’s right here_ , Yeji reminds herself, _so what am I yearning for?_

She can taste the salt from Ryujin’s tears as she kisses her, and she kisses her in spite of them or because of them or maybe even for them. She kisses her softly and deeply and with everything she has to give. She kisses her and she hopes it says what she needs to hear; the _I’m here for you,_ the _I will never leave you,_ the _you are more good things than the universe could have accounted for._ She hopes she hears it all and soaks it in because she is kissing her in stanzas of unspoken words. 

But she doesn’t think she does because even though Ryujin is right there on top of her, with her body pressed right up to hers, she can still feel her slipping away.

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter is @ryejiau !!  
> curiouscat is curiouscat.me/ryejiau


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